It’s been a minute since I wrote anything for anything other than work. To be honest, I’ve never felt less qualified to share wisdom/insight/anything in my whole life. Why? Because I’m 100% NOT rocking this COVID home-school, work from home, social distancing life. (Ok, yes, I am rocking the social distancing – it may surprise you to learn that I am, in fact, an introvert, and this time has given me a golden opportunity to polish my inner hermit).
I always said, even long before I had children, that home-schooling was my idea of a nightmare. Even so, I kind of thought, somewhere in the back of my hopeatorium, that actually I would discover a natural aptitude for it and find out that it’s surprisingly rewarding. Well that bubble has been well and truly popped. I hate it. I actually hate it. There’s not many things I hate – that awful yawn-sigh people do, reggae music, loud eating noises (I should probably just get permanent earplugs) – but home-schooling is right up there.
The thing that’s so difficult, is that because those of us here in our part of the States have had the kiddos home for a solid 8 months now, my margins are paper thin. I normally gird my loins for the 3-month summer break, and begin to morph into Harriet the Haggard by the end. And this is 2.5 summers, with no clear end in sight.
When we have no margins is when issues that we are able to keep below the surface with rest, regular moments of respite, relaxation, socialisation etc. rear their ugly heads. For me, this means that I revert to my inner child a lot of the time.
The little girl that wanted to please the teacher and gain her constant approval, is now the parent of a kiddo whose schooling she is overseeing, and she really wants her kid to do well in order to appease her quest for affirmation.
The little girl that learned it was desperately important to get things done within a self-imposed timeframe, is now trying to force a seven-year-old to finish up his schoolwork within the same arbitrary window of time.
With the constant stress and pressure of life here in US right now, it feels like every unhealed part of my soul and every unchallenged erroneous belief is simultaneously running the show and beating me up.
So friends, if you’re feeling like me right now – and I know so many of you are, let’s join hands and start to do the things we need to get through this very challenging phase. For some of us, we really need to ease up on ourselves and our kiddos. For others of us, we need to choose a daily rhythm at this time that allows for a lot of extra space. Maybe we need to call a friend just to tell them that we’re not okay. Maybe we need to choose a regular meditation/prayer practice. Maybe we need to go for a walk around the block every day. Maybe we need to stop and realise that although no-one (except maybe the tech gods) are winning in the shit-show that is 2020, we are learning lessons and facing trials that have the potential to forge gold within us.
So, to all the other fellow humans in the trenches right now (even those with their masks under their noses), I give you my biggest smize, and raise my arm in a weary salute to you. You are loved, you are not alone, and you’re going to get through this. And so will I – albeit with a new cavernous depth to the frown lines between my eyebrows.
Love you friends,
6 thoughts on “Crawling out from Under a Rock for a Second…”
Miss you! Love your honesty
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Miss you and your vivacious energy xx
Hang in there Mama..you are equipped to do this..wether or not it is your “natural” habitat so to speak. I never imagained I’d worked with kids..20 years I wouold have cut off my right hand if that was my option!! Just joking…but this year has thrown so many curveballs. But at the end of the day you are getting all this precious time with you kids. Believe or not these are the best years of parenting…once they hit 10+ it changes so much and their need for us twindles. School work is important, yes, you are a child of a teacher but if it gets too stressful..tell the school you need a menatl health time out. I had my girl home her for 6 weeks as we have health issues..and even for me that was so hard. No friends to play with ..just me and her. She did most of her school work…all of her online dance classes ( around 4-5 perweek). That to me was important. Kept her doing what she loves and exercising her energy off. She learnt 8 new competition dances in that time. Missing social studies etc didn’t matter…..Math,spelling,reading etc yes. Just breathe…find those little momets for yourself or call a friend,pour a cupper and allow yourself to let them know how you really feel. Bless you and your family over this time Debs and I hope you have a Merry Christmas..whatever form it takes. xxx
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Bless you Kathryn, looking after a child for the second time around must hold immense challenges, and you are changing a precious girl’s whole life xx
What incredibly challenging times Deb. Sending love and yes there is much more to learning than bookwork 🙂
Thanks Fay…I appreciate your care xx