Social Media – adventures of the ordinary

I find myself in the middle of a hiatus from regular blogging – most likely coinciding with my recent discovery of the wonders of less social media in my life. You see, I kind of feel like I actually don’t have that much to say right now. It’s not that there’s a lack of absurd or horrific things happening in the world, it’s just that I don’t really feel all that compelled or qualified to write about them.

And I guess that’s what this blog is…a post about not having to have anything to say. I feel really tired of being outraged. Whenever I open a news page, social media feed or even my Google feed, it’s like a constant litany of invitations to have a strong opinion about everything. I’m constantly being asked to pick a side, and you know what? For once in my overly-opinionated life, I just don’t feel like putting my precious energy into having strong feelings into things so far outside of my everyday existence. (I’ve even noticed a number of ‘articles’ that are essentially just recapping different people’s strong opinions on something someone famous posted. Amazing.)

I’m not saying there’s not a time for outrage – it’s just when outrage is called for from every quarter, 24/7, it begins to take a toll. You see, our anger, when coupled with meaningful action, can be a powerful force for change and for good. However, when our anger has no purposeful outlet, it turns in on us and begins eating away at our peace and joy. And the realities of life dictate that there are only a certain number of causes for which we can wield the sword of justice.

If I’m really going to invest my emotional and mental energy into getting passionate about an issue, I would like to become well-versed enough on the topic so that I’m not just spouting a quote I read somewhere on Instagram. I’d like to listen to the various sides to the debate and consider hard evidence. I would like to get close enough to the issue that I become aware of genuinely helpful steps to take – to arm my passion with hands and feet, so I don’t end up just sitting under a smouldering heap of shit, shaking my fist at the universe.

So, I’ve given myself permission to not take the weight of the world on my shoulders, get offended on others’ behalf, and impotently rage at the government – and instead, choose a couple of things I am passionate about, and put my resources toward those areas. It’s really freeing. It may mean at times that I’m not up on the latest issue doing the rounds in the media, and that when someone asks me what I think, I might have to look a little ignorant – but I’m prepared to make that trade for a more rested inner world.

Some new phrases I’m trying out include:
“I don’t know”
“I don’t care”
“I don’t really want to talk about it anymore – it makes me feel itchy on the inside”

So take this as your permission to peace out sometimes…. or more often than that. It may not be the done thing right now, but outrage culture is not out to look after your well-being – that’s something only you can do.

Love you friends,

Deb xx

I didn’t grow up in a church that ever really took much notice of the church calendar, apart from Easter and Christmas, so the season of Lent didn’t really come on to my radar until my early 20s. There was a period of time where it was fashionable in my social circle to give something up for Lent, and me being your typical Enneagram 3, I naturally wanted to prove that I could excel at self-discipline, so I gave up listening to music in my car for 6 weeks (which was harder than you would think).

I think there may have been another year where I gave up chocolate – but since I could still eat lollies, it really didn’t move me to any spiritual epiphanies. As a side note, fasting in general has never been easy/possible for me (blood sugar issues) – evidenced by the one time I decided to do a fruit and veggie fast for seven days, but after day 1, I was in such a hangry mess that I had convinced myself that hot chips, potato fritters, and popcorn were all technically veggies – but I digress.

This year, for various reasons, the Lenten season took shape and meaning for me, and I wanted to give up something that would be a real sacrifice. So, I gave up social media. For six weeks. Now, I’m not a huge poster on social, but I really am (was) an avid consumer. My guess is that I would pick up my phone at least every half hour to have a wee scroll through people’s updates and stories. I have no shame in admitting I was addicted and have been ever since I joined up about 10 years ago.

I got about three weeks into my social hiatus, and consciously thought that nothing much had changed – except my head was a bit quieter. Then, about a month in, Caleb and I were watching a movie, and when we got to the end, he was like, “Babe, I can’t believe you actually watched a whole movie!” And I was like, “Yeah – I guess I’ve just been feeling really present in my life lately.” I figured that after a couple of years, all the mindfulness, deep breathing, and sitting in nature had finally started helping me be more engaged in my life. But then the penny dropped.

Throughout the past six weeks, I have been able to be IN my life like no other time I can remember. I feel content, present, engaged, still and peaceful. Don’t get me wrong, I still pick up my phone a lot – checking my email, reading my Google feed etc, but a massive shift has taken place.

You see, I’ve discovered that when I’m constantly transplanting myself from my life to vicariously engage in other people’s lives, it’s just not possible to stay present in my own.

I’ve got a 100 different reasons/excuses why it would be fine, even beneficial, for me to go back to my previous social use – half of my friends and all of my family live across the other side of the world, I need the mental break in the middle of my brain-heavy workday, if I don’t, I run the risk of becoming socially irrelevant, etc. However, I have made the decision that as valid as these reasons may be, they are too high a price to pay for my peace.

Now that I have experienced what it feels like to fully inhabit my life, I am willing to forgo the benefits of Insta to keep it.

I know that someone reading this right now is thinking, “Aha, but you’re on social media right now!” – thank you, Sherlock, yes I am. I download the apps on Saturday morning, delete them on Saturday night, and give myself a window for posting and engaging with my blog. And it’s really working for me.

So yeah, this is not a big sell that everyone should follow my lead, or even a humble-brag about my impressive self-restraint – but I just wanted to let you know that what three years of trying mindfulness, breathwork, and solitude didn’t quite achieve, six weeks without social media, did.

Love you friends,

Deb xx